I am thankful for he is being honest with me. It is just hard to accept. I said to him many times he is cold. But surely, he is opposite. He is really warm and patient. He is a good listener. That makes me me into him. He is so matured.
It was very shameful that i was just like a little girl, so needy , clingy... but i tried to control. No.... i didnt want to control. I just wanted to be as i am. That feeling was true, and that was real me. I am not saying i was right.
It hurts me. It made me feeling down. I am feeling unworthy, not good enough, unfair.
I cang accept this feeling anymore. Because it is not only this time.
I hate him, i hate all people who ignore me, look down me , but i hate the most myself.
Why dont i love myself ? Why dont i respect myself ? Why did i let them not respect me ? I let it myself. Surely, not them , i am ruining myself, thats me.
